Goose the goose My friend Goose the goose is a smooth character. He wears a purple hat to match his purpleness. Goose wasn't always purple. He used to be regular colors. When Goose was 4, he started to think that he wasn't special. He was concerned that he was just like everyone else, eating grass and making poops. He decided that he wanted more. He wanted to wear a purple hat. That shit would make him different, right? So he told me about his plan, and I thought it was pretty nice, so we went to the goose hat store. We were looking around on the shelves and then a golfer hit a golf ball right at us. We had forgotten that there was no such thing as a goose hat store and that we were just standing on the golf course, eating grass and making poops. That was a trip, yo. So, after we realized that there was no such thing as a goose hat store, we tried to figure out what a hat was. Goose thought it might be green, but he wanted it to be purple. For awhile, we thought about getting shoes, but our feet do not wear them properly. So, when we got back from the goose hat store, Goose was all freaking suave and shit with his new purple hat. He walked up to Juanita the goose and said, "Yo honey, I be chillin right heagh now wit mah new purpa hat" (Goose talks with a nice smooth). Juanita said, "That hat sucks, Goose. You're a punk" So Goose was all sad and lost. He wanted to be different, but the hat just made the other gooses dislike him. He decided that the best course of action would be to dye himself purple, to match his hat. Gooses freaking hate when their colors aren't all matchy. Me and Goose went to the goose dye store and bought like 4 cans of GoosePoop brand goose dye. If you're a goose and you ever decide to dye yourself, buy GoosePoop brand. That shit is tight. So we filled up Goose's bath tub with water and started adding the dye. All of a sudden, a golf ball came flying right at us! We remembered that we didn't really have a bath tub because we're geese. We were just on the golf course, eating grass and pooping.