goose!

I like grass

I bet you freakin thought that I was talking about regular grass. Well, guess again. When you assume, you make geese sad and shit. Anyway, I love to eat grass. When I'm flying around and I see a bunch of grass growing, I swoop down and start chomping on that shit. Man, it tastes pretty good. Then, after like an hour, I'll be flying all crooked and shit and asking strangers for cheese. This one time, me and my goose friends were all eating grass. We thought it would be a good idea to fly to the nearest golf course to make poops on the ground. Golfers hate that shit, dude! Anyway, we were making poops and the golfers were all saying mean things to us. My friend Goose the goose made this goose noise at one of them and they almost smashed his head with a golf club. He didn't care, though! We had eaten grass!
It is my opinion that grass should be legal. I mean, what the hell dude? I eat grass, so what's the problem? I wrote to my congressman, but he just called me up and said, "Sperel, you are a goose!" And I was all like, "Congressman, I love grass!" And he was like, "Dude, you're a goose. What the hell do you want from me?" And I was like, "Yo, what's up bitch? Are you stepping?" And he was like, "Yea, goose, I'm stepping like an 37 year old lady at the gym." And I was like, "Gyme? What's a gyme?" And he was like, "What're you talking about, bitch?" I guess my congressman doesn't watch the Simpsons. I watch that shit every day. Sometimes, while I'm watching it, a golf ball will come flying right at me. That's when I realize that I'm a goose and I don't own a tv. I don't even know what a tv is. I'm just at the golf course.