In 1994, a man named Rangard Habmstat was taking pictures of little rivers and trees and shit. This interview with the Washington Post was the last anyone heard of Mr. Habmstat. I am a goose:

Post: Hi Rangard, how are you?
Rangard: I'm pretty good. I saw a goose that had the head of a monkey!
Post: Ease up there, Rangard. Let me ask some questions before you start ripping out answers.
Rangard: Alright.
Post: So, Rangard, have you ever seen a goose that had the head of a monkey?
Rangard: YES!
Post: What did it look like?
Rangard: Well, I took a picture of it. It looks as though a goose somehow got the head of a monkey.
Post: (looking at picture) Hmmm, interesting. Are you aware that this monkey goose is kind of scary?
Rangard: Heck yes, it's scary. That freakin thing noticed me taking the picture and had words with me.
Post: Words? The monkeygoose can speak?
Rangard: Yes, its name is Monkey the goose and it likes to eat bannanas and make poops.
Post: That's what it said to you?
Rangard: Yea, then it flew around for awhile.
Post: So then what'd you do?
Rangard: Well, I wanted a few pictures of these trees and water and stuff without the monkeygoose in them.
Post: Yea...
Rangard: So I took some more pictures.
Post: Yea...
Rangard: Then I went home.
Post: Yea...
Rangard: That's it.
Post: You didn't report it to the authorities?
Rangard: Why the hell would I tell the authorities about this?
Post: It is your civic duty as a citizen of earth to tell authorities about new hybrid animals that are running around.
Rangard: You know that I would have been punched in the face and had things stuck up my heiney if I told them.
Post: Yea, you're probably right. Those authorities are crazy.
Rangard: Yea.

What happened to Mr. Habmstat after this interview is a mystery to everyone. Some people say that he stopped giving interviews because nobody really cared about Monkey the goose and all of its mysteries. Some people think the authorities got really mad about not being told about the new animal and locked him in a jail cell. Some people think he might have just been a government imposter sent to disrupt the lives of gooses and monkeys. I am a goose, but not a monkey, nor a monkeygoose.